Many parents are frustrated by their child's seemingly nonchalant response to consequences, especially when a child happily goes to their room for the remainder of the day. Still others worry that solitary confinement may cause emotional trauma to their child. Below is my answer to one such question from a loving, but frustrated father. His little one was jumping on her bed and amusing herself trying on multiple outfits while confined to her room for misbehavior. He wondered if there was a more effective consequence. He was also dealing with guilt for putting her in "solitary confinement" for the day.
Most children will find a way to amuse themselves while in solitary. The point isn't that they suffer all day; rather, it is to teach them that actions have consequences - when we break the rules, we lose privileges. It also teaches that mom and dad say what they mean and mean what they say! This is a foundational understanding that will help you immensely has your child gets older. I would put a lock on the closet door to cut down on the mess of trying on layers of clothes. As for jumping around, ignore it. Jumping around helps alleviate the boredom, but it certainly isn't as entertaining as the privilege of being with the family and playing with her toys.
There really isn't a better deterrent because this is a learning process. We humans have free will, which means we always have the ability to choose to do something regardless of the consequences. Sometimes even in spite of the consequences. So, no matter the consequence or deterrent you use, it all comes down to whether or not she decides it is in her best interest, at that moment, to make a better choice. We learn by trial and error and we love to push the boundaries. It's human nature. In most instances, children will decide that boredom and isolation is not in their best interest and will begin to make better choices, but it takes consistency!
You more than likely will feel some guilt pangs no matter the deterrent because we as parents don't want our children to suffer the consequences of their actions. If we could take all the hurt and pain of bad choices away, we would in a heartbeat because we love them so very much. However, remind yourself that it is because you love her so very much that you discipline. It is in her best interest, in order to learn the important lesson that actions have consequences, to spend some time in her room now rather than for law enforcement to teach her that lesson later in life.
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