Twenty years ago, when I was preparing to potty train my first son, I talked to the doctors, read books, asks friends what to do and generally made potty training out to be a pretty big deal. After all, it's hard.Right? Parents dread potty training.
At that time, potty training began between two and three. But, what! We were moving right after my son's second birthday! According to the experts, moving puts undue pressure on a child. They feel lost and unsure of their world. Potty training would just be one more difficult, scary change for my son to deal with, so it needed to be put off. I listened to the experts and waited until he was 30 months old to begin training. It did not go well. I offered rewards, I played music, I sat and read books while he sat on his potty year. No success. So, again, listening to experts, I stopped trying. He wasn't ready. We would try again when he was older. But, then, we moved again! Now the poor child will be irreparably damaged if we pick up this potty training thing again. We waited some more. By this time, my son was three and a half years old and staying dry every single night. Fortunately, the child went to daycare and was trained within two weeks by his day care workers. Left up to me and my confusion, indecision, and fear of doing the right thing, the poor child might not be successfully using the toilet today.
Seven years later, when it was time to potty train my second child, I was determined to not make the same mistakes. Thankfully, I discovered John Rosemond's Naked and $75 method. (Although, he would be quick to tell you this method is based on old school toilet training principals.) I applied this method and wouldn't you know, potty training was simple and carefree. In fact, I don't remember potty training my second son. I remember putting out a potty chair, I remember him using it, but it's a vague memory. Unlike my previous experience, which is scorched forever into my brain. There are a few simple steps to this method.
Step One - begin around eighteen months. Sound young? Most children in the United States were trained before their second birthdays until the 1960s. What changed? Experts, who started spouting a bunch of opinions that have simply complicated what had been, up until that point, a fairy simple process.
Step Two - Prepare yourself. This is not war, nor is it a battle. Potty training is no different than teaching your child to eat with a spoon or drink out of a cup. It is a process of trail and error. It sometimes gets a little messy. So, approach potty training realistically. Stay calm and confident.
Step Three - Go out and buy a simple potty chair, a simple kitchen timer, and cotton underpants. That's it. No books to read to your child on using the potty. No fancy treats or toys. No musical potty chairs, targets, or fun little potty incentive games. Just a chair, bell and underpants. Why? Because the bigger deal you make of something, the bigger deal your child will make of it. Using the bathroom is an everyday fact of life. There is nothing earth-shattering about it. It is not difficult to learn or to do. So, why make it into a big production? You'll just wear yourself out and send your child the message that this is a scary, difficult process. Who wants to cooperate with scary and difficult?
Step Four - Throw out the diapers and stay away from pull-ups. Your child has just spent the last eighteen months relieving himself in a diaper. A pull up is just a diaper. That soft, absorbent material feels just like a diaper. It's disposable, like a diaper. So, why would your child not continue to use it like a diaper? If he doesn't use the potty chair, he just gets his diaper changed - like always. What he is not familiar with is having urine run down his legs. This is where the Naked part comes in. Are you ready? Leave him naked from the waist down. Dress him in a long cotton shirt and let him go. If you need to leave the house, put him in cotton underwear and pants. It is best to start potty training when you don't need to go anywhere for about a week. But what about the mess? That's where the $75 comes in - to clean your carpets once the training is complete.
Step Five - Implement the process. When you begin, have a simple conversation with your child. "Love of my life, this is a potty chair. You are becoming a big boy (girl) so it's time for you to start going potty like mommy and daddy. To help you remember to use the potty, you are not going to wear diapers anymore. You don't need them. Also, to help you remember, I am going to set this timer. When the timer goes ding, it will be time to go sit on the potty." Put the potty in the room where you child is playing. What? Gross! No, it's not gross. You have a small child that is learning a new task. In order to help your child be successful, the chair needs to be readily accessible. As your child gains success, begin to set the potty chair closer to the bathroom, gradually working up to keeping it in the bathroom. To remind your child when to try, set the kitchen timer for every 30 to 90 minutes, depending on your child's natural body rhythm. When the bell goes off, tell your child to go sit on the potty. Don't ask, plea or bargain, just tell. Then, don't hover! It's important that you act confident and natural. If an accident occurs, don't say, "It's ok" or "it was just an accident, not big deal." Don't get angry. You're sending mixed messages. Instead say, "Remember, when you feel like you need to go potty, you need to go sit on your chair. Go sit on your chair now." Then, have your child help you clean up the mess.
If you stay consistent, calm, and confident - you will find success rather quickly. For more detailed information, I would strongly suggest reading, "Toilet Training without Tantrums" by John Rosemond.
Write a comment